#14 Getting Dressed
What I've learned this year about what to wear. Also: a quick Christmas read, could you sing "This Christmas" without cue cards, and 2025's Color of the Year.
⭕️ Small Things Like These This slip of a novella by Claire Keegan takes place in the days leading up to Christmas in 1980s Ireland, when a coal merchant confronts a crisis of conscience — both deeply personal and communally-woven into his existence within a small town controlled by the church — when making a delivery to the local convent. A film adaptation (with Cillian Murphy and Emily Watson) was also recently released.1
⭕️ This Year’s Goody Bags This is my packaging inspiration for edible gifts for friends and neighbors.2
⭕️ Patti LaBelle Singing “This Christmas” while her background singers were MIA and her cue cards were delayed, 1996. The show must go on!3
⭕️ Pantone’s Color of the Year is Mocha Mousse 17-1230. “… We look to a mellow brown hue whose inherent richness and sensorial and comforting warmth extends further into our desire for comfort, and the indulgence of simple pleasures that we can gift and share with others.”4
A Year of Outfits
When I was young, I would change my outfit sometimes eight times a day. I wasn’t particular, I just loved clothes. For all of my elementary and high school years, I wore a uniform: a pleated plaid jumper, then a pleated plaid skirt, then a pleated khaki or navy skirt, always with a polo shirt. The pleats of my skirts were lumpy, refused to lay flat, and the hem was always longer than was popular with the other girls. Sometimes someone from church would give us a big black trash bag of hand-me-downs, things that weren’t really my size or age-appropriate (a body con mini dress, a lace corset), but I would dig through and claim them as my own, even if just to try on in front of the mirror. We had a costume closet, made up mostly of my mom’s old prom and pageant dresses, that I would do the same with.
When I finally got to choose my own clothes on a daily basis, I went wild. I used the money I’d saved all summer from waitressing to buy pointy-toed stilettos and formal dresses from the H&M in downtown Chicago that — as a non-sorority member and resident of the Windy City in only its cold months — I never had a reason to wear. I went through a vintage phase and took the El train to musty shops off the Belmont stop to dig for full-skirted dresses from the 40s and 50s. During a brief stint at Urban Outfitters (I lasted about 3 months in retail) I used my employee discount on babydoll tops and skinny jeans.
Over the years, my taste has changed and changed again. Trying on a new style felt like trying on a new identity, and this was something I’d turn to whenever I was uncomfortable with the identity I currently occupied and was grasping for something different, better (new mom, new New Yorker, new associate professor, new single mom, new creative director, etc. etc.). Wearing the clothes of the persona I was trying to become was easier, maybe, than the work of true inner change.
I’ve also never been the same size for more than a year at a time since I was in high school.
This fluctuation is frustrating, sometimes demoralizing, and very expensive. Even if you shop secondhand (which, for most of my adult life, has been my primary way of acquiring clothes), to have to rebuild even just the basics year after year costs real money. And when you move frequently (12 times in the first 5 years of my boys’ lives) and live in small spaces (our ~700 sq foot home has exactly one closet), it’s not always possible to store a range of sizes for when you’ll need them next.
Last fall, something shifted in how I approached building a wardrobe and outfits. I got tired of buying things because I liked how they looked on someone else, or because I thought they would make me more like someone else, someone who looked good in clothes and had a charismatic Instagram presence.
I did two things that have entirely changed what’s in my closet and how I get dressed:
I got a professional color season consult
I booked a virtual style session with Allison Bornstein
The color consult came first, and though it wasn’t cheap, it’s hugely reduced the amount of clothes I buy but never wear.
Color analysis is a way to determine which colors look best on you. The colors are divided into seasons (Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter) and sub-seasons (bright, true, light). This is primarily based on undertones of the skin, with some influence by hair and eye color, so your color season will always be the same.
The idea is that when you wear colors in your season / sub-season, your skin looks great and your features become more harmonious. There are loads of examples of this on Instagram and TikTok: someone sits in front of a mirror and is draped in fabrics in a spectrum of colors and shades until one really lights them up. It seems silly, but it works!
It also explains why I’d buy things in colors that I liked or that were trending (bubblegum pink, cobalt blue), but would never reach for them — because they didn’t look great one me.
In addition to learning I’m a “True Autumn,” my consult included suggested silhouettes (v-necks, for example, over crewnecks), best metals (gold and rose gold), and denim shades (warm tones for me).
I found it freeing to go through my closet and sort out items that weren’t in my color palette: anything black, bright white, cool gray. It was harder to let go of handknits, but I wasn’t wearing them (and Sebastian happily adopted most of them). I hardly owned any navy, cream, or beige, and it took me a while to add these new neutrals into my closet, but when I did, they got lots of wear time.
Knowing my color season has helped eliminate a lot of impulse buys. I carefully check color against my palette (I use a digital swatch), and if it’s not a match, I don’t buy.
A few months after my color consult, I had a virtual styling session with
. Perhaps best known for her Three-Word Method, Allison is a stylist and author of Wear It Well (which I read before my session with her). One of the things I like most about Allison’s approach to styling is her emphasis on working with inspiration images to create outfits out of what you already have in your closet. Sure, there may be gaps that need filling, but we likely have all we need — what’s lacking is perspective.We Facetimed for about an hour, during which I pulled out almost every article of clothing in my closet and Allison asked me questions about what I’m typically dressing for (the vibe at work, where I’m feeling most frustrated or lost, etc.). By the time the session ended, I had at least 15 outfits that I’d never thought to put together, all with pieces I already owned.
This is another key part of how I now get dressed: After our session, I took photos of all the outfit combos Allison suggested and saved them in a folder in my camera roll. Most days, I take a quick pic of the outfit I’m wearing and save it to that folder. Sometimes, it ends up being an outfit I want to repeat. Sometimes, it’s an outfit that almost works, but needs some small tweak in order to be one I’d want to wear again.
Taking the photo helps me to see things like whether or not the silhouette is balanced, if a small accessory like a belt or necklace is needed to make it feel more complete (or if something should be removed to simplify the look), if the colors are right together.
Some of the things I think about when I make outfits are:
Tonal vs. Contrast Colors: Outfits that are made in similar shades or high contrast (I’ve learned that I’m most comfortable wearing tonal outfits — but I really like a contrast look!)
Layers + Texture: What I’m looking for is depth. This is certainly easier in Winter (just add a knit), but not impossible in the warmer months! My go-to in Summer has become wearing an oversized button-down shirt like I would a cardigan.
Comfort: Can I do what I need to do today in this outfit, and will it look good all day? Sometimes the answer is just wearing a sneaker instead of a heel. Some days I really am not up for wearing a belt. I love making outfits, but I also love feeling good in my clothes.
Taking the outfit photos has also done something else for me: it’s helped me to get used to really seeing my body, as it is, right now, on a regular basis. For most of my adult life I’ve either not been photographed, or have avoided looking at myself in photos. I’ve definitely deleted the ones I don’t like. There’s something about these outfit photos that makes it all feel less personal? Like what I’m looking at is more about the full composition of the pieces on my body, not so much how they look on my body?
Although the Three-Word Method is central to how Allison helps people approach personal style, I didn’t really land on my perfect three words until recently. I played with a few iterations, and even veered away from words to brands for awhile to figure out what my look is (Everlane meets TOAST meets Sézane — even though I don’t own anything from two of these brands).
I finally landed on Timeless + Easy + Unexpected, and it feels right!
Timeless: Classic, well-designed, wearable in any era (no trends)
Easy: No fuss, effortless, comfortable
Unexpected: Some surprising and playful touch (color, texture, pattern, shape)
While I’ve purged my closet of items that don’t fit my color season, three words, or current size, I’ve also slowed my roll a bit with actually getting rid of things. When I’m sorting I make a couple of piles: toss/donate, resell, store for later. The toss/donate pile is stuff I’m really, truly done with. The resell pile gets bagged and set aside for whenever I have time to take photos and post online (I sell on Poshmark and Noihsaf), or to take to Artifact. And the store pile gets put into one of two bins I keep in my closet: seasonal or size.
The thing about my resell pile is that it’s been taking me a really long time to actually post things to sell, so sometimes I’ll dig through and pull something out that inspires me again after time away!
I definitely don’t always get it right with my outfits, even now that I’ve figured some of these things out. But giving myself permission to not always get it exactly right makes it easier to try.
I read this last Christmas, and am going to pull it off the shelf to re-read in the last week of the year. I’m not sure where the film version can be watched at the moment — but hopefully it will stream soon!
As of now, I’m planning on making:
🌈 Technicolor Cookies (gift link) - I made these last year and they were my FAVORITE.
🍋 Lemon-Turmeric Crinkle Cookies (gift link) - The recipe creator said they were the best cookie he’s ever developed, so…
🍹 Rum Balls - A nice addition for variety in a treat spread, these can be made ahead and frozen!
🌰 Panforte - This got eaten up so fast last year I hardly got to have any.
☕️ Cardamom Buns (gift link) - Cardamom is my favorite Christmas spice. I think I’m going to hold these off until New Years morning this year.
But I also just looked at the NYT Cookie Week page and this list might grow exponentially…
Not everyone loves; these responses made me giggle.
I look forward to every issue of Some Sundays! It is such a delight to get this gift of a newsletter delivered to my inbox each week.
Glad you enjoy Patti as much as I do. <3